SORRY JIMMY, I THINK THE STOOGES NICKNAME MAY STICK

Jimmy Haslam didn't take very kindly to the Browns front office being called "The Three Stooges" in yesterday's press conference.  Perhaps he finally realized that the honeymoon is over in Cleveland for him.

AND HERE WE GO THEY FIRED THE COACH, WITH NO CLUE WHO WOULD REPLACE HIM

While people are angry about the firing of rookie head coach Rob Chudzinski, I am not.  I think that if you suck at your job you need to be replaced.  And lets not pretend that these Browns were well coached this season, they were not.  What pisses me off is that they have made the move with no clue whatsoever of what they are going to do to fill the position.

Firing a guy after one season is already a bit shady and underhanded, and I believe this decision was known to be a possibility back as far as Chip Kelly not taking the Browns job last season.  I think they knew whoever they hired would just be the fall guy for a bad season.  That's what pisses me off.

Mr. Haslam, this coach hiring better be very big.  If it isn't, you might have a bunch of fans tired of crap like you pulled with Chud on your ass.

CHUD ON THE HOT SEAT?

Well the season is over.  Thank god.  But do we still have a coach for next season, or is Jimmy Haslam's mighty axe about to fall upon the Cleveland Browns' coaching staff.  At 4-12 with only one win in the final 11 games it may be deserved.  Time will tell.

This is the final meme of the season, but I'm not packing it in yet.  Over the next couple weeks I will be awarding the 2013 Cleveland Browns Memes Awards. And I will be introducing the Cleveland Browns Memes Hall of Fame during the offseason.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS THIS WEEKEND'S GAME TO BE CANCELLED

I guess fans of other teams get to have Merry Christmases, but not us Browns fans.  We might be able to hide our disgust with a team that has lost 9 of the last 10 games for one day, but know we are only one day closer to watching the team lose to Pittsburgh to end yet another miserable season.

PARDON ME FOR NOT FEELING THAT FESTIVE THIS YEAR

The disgusting 2013 Cleveland Browns is about to come to a merciful end with what promises to be an absolute ass kicking at the hand of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

And you may notice that I didn't make any reference to the game last week.  I think this meme will suffice.

IN MEMORIAM: DAVONE BESS' INSTAGRAM PAGE

Davone Bess posted this gem on his Instagram Page this morning.  Davone Bess' Instagram page disappeared shortly thereafter.

OUR DEFENSE ISN'T TERRIBLY EFFECTIVE IN THE CLUTCH

I've really stuck up for the defense this season, but numbers don't lie.  Although the Browns have maintained a top 10 defense in overall yardage this season they have been horrible in some of the more important aspects of the game.

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T EXPECT TO HAVE A DRY ASS AT THE LAST HOME GAME

Yep they couldn't even clean off the seats in the stadium for the poor saps that shelled out big bucks to watch the Browns get beat up by a better team.  Didn't see Jimmy in the Dawg Pound for that one.

WITHOUT JOE HADEN WE WOULD PRETTY MUCH SUCK

Joe Haden went down with a hip pointer in the second half of today's game.  And a defense that already seems to fall apart come the 4th quarter looked even worse than usual.

ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS

So how would you like to get a brand new Brady Quinn, Trent Richardson, Colt McCoy, Braylon Edwards or Josh Cribbs jersey this year?  Only $7.99 in some back corner of some supermarket near you.

NFL THE NEW FORM OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT

Well anyone who saw the game last Sunday knows the Browns played the old school wrestling role of "Jobber" to the mighty New England Patriots.  The job that Jerome Boger and his crooked, one sided, half assed officiating crew did reminded me of when the WWF had "Dangerous" Danny Davis as a crooked official.

Disgusting

I ALSO WISH HE WOULD FORGET ABOUT THE SHOVEL PASS

I think the hideous Brandon Weeden era in Cleveland has finally reached its sad and inevitable end.  The human turnover machine has failed to win in any of his starts this season, and had repeatedly made some of the dumbest and inexcusable mistakes imaginable.  As the old saying goes, "A quarterback needs to have a short memory," perhaps Weeden's concussion will allow him to forget the three consecutive turnovers he committed versus the Jaguars last Sunday that ultimately cost us the game.    

JOSH GORDON CAN MAKE ANYONE LOOK GOOD FOR A MOMENT

I'm starting to be convinced that I could throw for 300 yards in a game if I had Josh Gordon to throw the ball to.

I THINK WE ARE OUT OF THE HUNT NOW

Well the Browns lost at home to Jacksonville.  It adds some thunder to my theory that with Brandon Weeden the Browns are the worst team in the league.  But the key thing is that loss officially eliminated us from everyone's "In the Hunt" graphics that get shown this time of year.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

What am I thankful for, well there is are a few things...

• Joe Haden is awesome
• Buster Skrine has made huge strides in becoming a reliable compliment to Haden
• The free agents that the Browns signed on defense has payed huge dividends
• Josh Gordon might make a good quarterback WANT to play in Cleveland and we didn't trade him away
• And that I will only have to see this train wreck of a season for 5 more weeks then I can at least go back into my offseason knowledge that it can be turned around in one year, we've got to figure it out eventually

But in the end I could create a list of things about this team that I'm certainly not thankful for, but it's festive holiday time so I won't do that.

Welcome Back Brandon Weeden!

Yes I do believe that Brandon Weeden better look out.  There is a QB on the Browns who is deadly accurate.  Alex Tanney is here and since his name isn't Brandon Weeden and he is a quarterback, therefore now my favorite Cleveland Brown.

Screw It, This Team Isn't Even Worth My Time

I have no desire to spend one second longer on the Browns this week.  I have a Thankgiving post but until then I am disgusted with this team.  If they can't even give a small dose of effort to make a game entertaining there is no point making fun of them.  Until then screw you Cleveland Browns you are so bad I can't even be bothered to make fun of you this week.

Well It's Gameday, I Might As Well Get One More In Before Something Bad Happens

I'm nervous that Steeler week is going to end with the same thud that last week did.  I've lost the "playoff fever" that has sort of swept the Browns fanbase last week.  I don't know that what to expect, but after last week it is the worst.  So I am going to enjoy the last moments of being better than the Steelers, by ragging on Ben Roethlisberger yet again.

More Ben Bashing

If we played the Steelers every week my job would be easy.

Steeler Week!

And I'm still not done with you yet Big Ben, wait until tomorrow.

The Last Time We Saw Ben...

Oh don't worry Ben, I have even more for you this week.

Absolutely Embarrassing

Wow, I'm so embarrassed to be a Browns fan I can't even write about the meltdown that was the 2nd quarter.  All I can say is that if your name isn't Joe Haden and you are a Cleveland Brown you should be ashamed of yourself.

It's About Time To Get Back To Football

And it's not just the hair, his eyebrows freak me out too.  Anyway I hope he chokes this Sunday like he has the past two weeks, because the Browns could really use an exciting November and December worth of football. And a win versus the Bengals not only puts the Browns in the playoff hunt, but in the hunt for the entire division.  

Well No Plans To Dome the Stadium

I've been trying to take the bye week to give the jokes a rest. But then the plans for a stadium upgrade had to come out.  There was talk of the possibility of them trying to dome the stadium in hopes of attracting a Super Bowl, but that may just be a terrible idea.

Ugh I Guess I Should See What Else Is On

No worries about missing football this afternoon.

I Am Growing To Like Jason Campbell

I suddenly am incredibly interested in what the second half of the Browns season might bring.  Jason Campbell has brought a new found calmness and coolness to the offense.  I still think the AFC is wide open with so many teams struggling.  If Campbell could keep up his high level of play we may even be able to squash the idea of having to try to trade up for a quarterback this draft and just try to get some quality players.

I Can Watch This Again and Again

I was hard on Davone Bess last week, so now I have a whole two weeks to be nice to him.  This move on Lardarius Webb was a true redemption after having a tough week last week.  If Bess and Little can continue to play at the level they showed on Sunday it could be a surprising second half of the season.

We Beat the Ratbirds! Cleveland Browns 24 - Baltimore Ravens 18

I guess the best way to motivate a guy is to double meme them the way I did Davone Bess last week.  Bess finally showed that spark which made me think that he could be a tremendous addition to the wide receiver crew, instead of the "Braylonesque" label I gave him last week.  And when the going was getting tough again Bess, along with one of my other favorite targets Greg Little made me eat my words.  

The team played a fantastic game behind Jason Campbell, and for the first time since 2007 I can go to bed tonight celebrating a Browns win over the Baltimore Ratbirds. 

How Quickly Josh Cribbs Forgot that the Dawg Pound Will Bite

Poor Josh Cribbs went and stuck one of those feet in his mouth.  After Cincinnatti destroyed the Jets last weekend a seemingly bitter JC went and replied to a question about the team quitting by saying, "We aren't the Browns."  Needless to say the Dawgs were ready to bite, and Cribbs did some damage to his image back in Cleveland.

Josh Gordon is Now Officially a Cleveland Brown in the Eyes of the Media

I personally do not remember the NFL trade deadline ever being a big deal.  Football isn't like baseball where there is constant player trading throughout the season.  The biggest moves that get made are over the waiver wire.

That is what made the Trent Richardson move so shocking to so many people.  But unfortunately it became so good of fodder for sports writers that they created this bizarro fantasy land of big trade deadline deals.

Obviously every national sports writer had a great time daydreaming about Josh Gordon anywhere other than Cleveland since he came back.  Adam Schefter loved the thought of Gordon in San Francisco, Yahoo liked the Colts as obvious trading partners, but my favorite was Peter King.  King suggested that Gordon to the Patriots for Aaron Dobson and a 4TH ROUND PICK was fair to everyone involved.  Well at least fair to the team that he would like to see get such a promising young player.

If Trent Richardson was worth a 1st round pick, Josh Gordon is worth someone's entire draft with an extra 1st rounder thrown in.  And obviously that wasn't offered today.

So here's to you overzealous sports writers.  Thanks for writing crap for all of us to digest about your pipedreams that Tom Brady get loaded up with a whole arsenal of new talent to throw the ball to, and all your others that you dreamed up and regurgitated onto the internet for me to scoff at.  Here is some of my favorite "rumors" I saw today by the hacks.

Jared Allen to the Seahawks
Adrian Peterson to the Cowboys
Hakeem Nicks to anyone
Jordan Cameron to anyone
Jason Campbell to the Rams

I'm Sorry I Needed One More Crack at this One

Sorry, I really hope Davone gets his groove back next week, but in the meantime I think I made a new adjective for Browns football.  Braylonesque is a perfect description of Davone Bess' last game.

Ugh Davone Bess: Kansas City Chiefs 23 - Cleveland Browns 17

Drops are drive killers.  Do you know how I know?  Because since 1999 the Cleveland Browns have been a mess of pass dropping fools at the wide receiver position.  Such stars like Quincy Morgan, Braylon Edwards, and Greg Little have all made fools of themselves by putting catchable balls on the turf relatively routinely.  But Davone Bess was supposed to be a surehanded, veteran option at wide receiver.  But as he has now consistently shown, now that he is wearing the orange and brown he also can no longer catch.  I don't know if there is something in the water in Berea or what but the drops are getting out of hand.  I can tolerate a poorly thrown pass being dropped,  but three more drops and a muffed punt today is too much.  Too many mistakes for one whole team to overcome coming from one player is terrible.  Imagine if Josh Gordon does get traded tomorrow.

At Least Brandon Weeden Wasn't as Bad As Ryan Leaf

While I am happy that the Brandon Weeden experiment has reached its sad conclusion, some people have called him the worst QB in history.  That is a horrible exaggeration because I can give you several examples of terrible QB play.

Lets stack up Brandon Weeden's 19 games and stack them up against the following:

Ryan Leaf's career (1998-2001)
Derek Anderson's 2008 season
Ken Dorsey's 2008 season
Doug Pederson's 2000 season

First off of the four other QB's mentioned Weeden's 5-14 record is only worse than Anderson's 3-6 record in 2008.  Leaf went 4-17, Dorsey 0-3, and Pederson 1-7

A career 56.2% completion percentage is tremendous versus this list.  The closest follower is Pederson with a 55.7%.  But even that number looks huge compared to the abysmal 50.2% posted by Anderson, or the beyond terrible numbers of Leaf (48.4%) or Dorsey (47.3%).

As far as yards per game go Weeden's 227.0 YPG is practically hall of fame caliber combared to the other four none of whom managed even over 200.  Anderson (161.5), Leaf (146.6), Pederson (95.2), Dorsey (92.5)

And finally the ratings, Weeden also leads those four with a 70.9 rating.  Only Anderson's 66.5 even comes close to what Weeden was able to put up.  To round up the batch Pederson (56.6), Leaf (50.0) and Dorsey (26.4) all paled in comparison to Weeden.

So in conclusion Brandon Weeden sucked ass, but he didn't even come close to being the worst ever... Ken Dorsey was.  

Jason Campbell Will Make His Browns Debut Sunday

I will admit I was quite surprised when I heard the news.  I thought that this move would be made just before the Ravens game after letting Weeden get destroyed by an extremely tough Kansas City Cheifs.  While I'm not holding my breath for Campbell to completely change the look and feel of the team the way Brian Hoyer did, I would like to think the guy can at least put the ball in the same zip code of the receiver he is trying to throw to.

So yes Jason Campbell will be the 20th starting quarterback the Browns have played since 1999.  And Jason, don't worry you don't have to do much to be one of the best of the batch.

I'm Truly Disappointed In the "Real Media"

I'm no journalist, I don't search for "sources" or "scoops."  I just watch the games, try to enjoy it for what it is and make fun of it.  But these national media types are really starting to get under my skin.  The last I knew is that the Gordon trade stuff had been all but squashed.  However Adam Schefter won't come off it.  It's like he wants it to happen so badly he is almost willing it to happen.  Perhaps using his vast audience to plant the seed in some GM's head to create some wild trade offer to get Gordon away from Brandon Weeden and give him tons of "fallout" from the trade to write, tweet, and talk about.  Meanwhile I would be out burning my Browns stuff in my backyard, while Schefter happily tweets away about how good Gordon looks in a 49ers, Colts, or Patriots jersey.  But at the end of the day the Browns "balking" at offers is not news.  From here on out I would like to know what is happening, not what some guy wants to happen.  

But my complaints aren't limited to the national idiots.  Tony Zarrella of 19 Action News reported that Vince Young was on his way to Cleveland to work out for the team.  This however never happened.  And once again something that a journalist wants to happen becomes "news."

Come on guys get your crap together, when something happens then tell me.

There's All Sorts of Guys Itching For Jobs and One Team With One To Give Won't Even Look

Well, Jeff Garcia has offered his services to the Cleveland Browns.  I'm waiting with baited breath for the Browns answer.  Oh wait, they are probably content with sticking with good old Weeden.  Even thought they may actually be better off with the 45 year old Garcia at the helm.  But sadly I think had Garcia had this team around him when he was here, our perception of him may be a bit different.  Perhaps not, but food for thought.  

It's Not Getting Any Better

Well another week and things are only getting worse.  First off Weeden continues to regress as an option at quarterback.  His performance on Sunday was almost laughable.  He is late on EVERYTHING!!!!  Sideline throws zing feet over receiver's heads, screen passes bounce two yards too short, crossing routes late and consistently behind receivers, timing plays out of sync, the endless bounce in the pocket during deep routes until he his sacked, my god he tried another shovel pass, he looks like a dead oak tree in a lightning storm, he blew me off on the first day of training camp...  I can go on and on and on.

Oh by the way, we still can't get past the Josh Gordon rumors.  And if Adam Schefter doesn't shut his pie hole about it soon I might have to unfollow his Twitter.  That will show him.   And meanwhile this team is a mess... again.

I wish I could praise someone for their effort this weekend, but in the end I can't.  The Browns were pretty much out of this game just a few minutes into it.  All I can say is that this team didn't look anything like this when Brandon Weeden wasn't the starter.

Time for a move Chud, there is no justification for subjecting us to this crap anymore.  We get the point, he's not your guy, he sucks, what a waste of a 1st round pick.  

Green Bay Packers 31 - Cleveland Browns 13

Wow did the Browns suck today.  No surprise considering Brandon Weeden can't seem to play well at home when it's nice.  Why the hell would he be able to play in Lambeau in the rain?  It was a disaster for Weeden right off the bat and never looked much better.  He got his yards in garbage time and sucks really, really bad.  When will the hook be pulled.  I don't care who else is on this roster right now, the position couldn't get played any worse.  So there is no point trying to find game points and things to build on.  With Weeden the Browns are almost unwatchable, plain and simple.

Trash the Opponent Thursday: The Green Bay Packers

Well I do not expect the Browns to win with Brandon Weeden at Lambeau Field this Sunday.  But I also do not expect the Browns to get completely embarrased.  The Packers are banged up, and don't match up particularly well against the Browns.  But once again, you need more than one quarter of offensive execution out of your quarterback to beat anyone in this league.  And unlike our guy, Aaron Rodgers has play consecutive halves of good football.

Ndamukong Suh Is a Dirty Bastard

Well I've said it before Ndamukong Suh is a dirty player.  And this hit on Brandon Weeden cost him over $31,000.

Well I'm Not Sure Weeden is the QB of the Future

I just read an article about how Tim Tebow makes sense for the Browns.  And for the first time in my life I must say that something that stupid actually makes sense at this point.  But the numbers are getting ugly quick.

Brandon Weeden is 0-3 in games he has started this season, bringing his lifetime record to a paltry 5-13.  That isn't getting it done here.  Neither is the fact that in Weeden's starts the Browns have been outscored 55-6 in the second halves of those games.  And in those games Weeden has looked like he doesn't have much for pocket presence, the ability to effectively read defenses, and constantly looks flustered when under pressure.

Then came Sunday, when Weeden corked off possibly one of the most ill conceived passes the league has ever seen.  During a drive in the 4th quarter Weeden was flushed from the pocket on 1st and 10.  Instead of taking a sack, or even throwing the ball away he threw up a desperation shovel pass.  In my life I have never seen a 15 yard shovel pass to a double covered receiver on the sideline.  To make matters worse the ball was thrown about 20 feet in the air, and allowed a Lions linebacker plenty of opportunity to make an easy interception on it.  Even Tebow hasn't pulled off something that dumb on a football field.

It's Hard Enough To Win With Weeden Without Getting Screwed By Refs

Brandon Weeden sucked. After taking a 17-7 lead into halftime, the Browns mustered only 6 yards of offense in the 3rd quarter, and didn't score again.  Unfortunately the defense also wasn't up to snuff and just couldn't get themselves off the field.  But worse was the officiating.

Pardon my anger, but fuck you Walt Coleman and your petty ass one sided crew you brought to this one.  Anything you guys could do to screw the Browns was done and it pisses me off.  I can't say that the Browns were perfect, but it's hard to win when you are screwed at every turn by the officials.

Some People Talk Playoffs, If That is True They Need To Win Today

I've heard some grumbles about playoffs.  And now we will have our 30 year old, second year starter Brandon Weeden leading the team.  Ryan Clark says the Browns are easier to beat with Weeden, strong words for a guy who's team hasn't won yet.

But maybe there is something, if this team can finish the next four games with a 2-2 record they will go into their bye at 5-4.  Coming out of the bye there are three very winnable games.  Meaning that the Browns could presumably be 8-4 at some point in this season.  But that is high hopes and the team needs to execute for me to believe this is a possibility.

The Lions Can't Be Too Excited About Our Defense

It's true, there have been a lot of really nice things said about this Browns defense this season.  And one recipient of the praise is Joe Haden.  Haden has been incredible in a secondary that seems like many of the guys are playing way over their heads.  In fact I even heard some sources say that has rendered Calvin Johnson a poor fantasy choice for the week.

The beauty part of the Browns defense is that even with an average effort out of our offense their is a chance that we could win each and every game.

Please Be Nice and Wait To Boo Weeden Until He Really Deserves it This Week

Well the toughest stretch of games lies ahead for the Browns.  This Sunday would be a great chance for Brandon Weeden to emerge as the quarterback of the team.  It may be the last chance for him to make an impact on this fan base.  The fans were somewhat rough on Weeden upon his return to the field last Thursday.  But why would the fans be restless?

Weeden will forever be linked to Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, Ryan Tannehill, and Russell Wilson due to being the five rookie starters of 2012.  Luck, Griffin and Wilson have already led their teams to the playoffs.  And Weeden was badly outplayed by Tannehill in the opener of this season.  Time will tell if Weeden can keep this team winning, but he better or it will likely be game over for his Browns career.

I Hate This Long Week

With heavy rumors and the loss of Brian Hoyer before we could even see if it was real or not, it's time to shift gears.

This time it is the Legends Football League, or as the purists still call it the Lingerie Football League.  If you weren't aware Cleveland has a team called the Crush.  And the team is coached by none other than "Top Dawg" Hanford Dixon and their GM is Bob Golic.  I'm sure that their wives are thrilled.

Tomorrow we preview the game with an animated look at the Lions.

I Thought We Were Past the Tanking the Season Thing

It is heading into week number six of the NFL season.  The Browns are miraculously in the top half of the AFC with one of the few winning records around.  And the Browns are still rumored to be mailing in the season.  Only in Cleveland.  But after a triumphant return to the football field Josh Gordon has now been the talk yet again in trade rumors.

I've only started to recover from the Trent Richardson, and the healing began once I seen him look less than stellar in a Colts uniform.  However the Gordon rumors are almost silly, unlike T-Rich he is actually making the Browns offense better.   I would go as far to say way better, and might even qualify it as extremely better.  He made Brian Hoyer into a star in the making, and might even work wonders for the old oak tree in the lightning storm Brandon Weeden.

I have an idea... screw the 2014 Draft.  I'm sick of hearing about it and you already have a bunch of picks.  Lets trudge forward and try to find the team to build on, utilize a playoff caliber defense and try to win some tough games these next four weeks.

Say It Ain't So

Say it ain't so.  The greatest hope this team has seen at quarterback was helped off the field for good in the 2013 campaign.  Brian Hoyer will miss the rest of the 2013 season after helping the Browns rebound to a 2-2 record with a torn ACL in his right knee.

The foreseeable future is back in the hands of Brandon Weeden.  Unfortunately watching both quarterbacks play there is obvious differences in the way that they play the game.  Hoyer was simply able to control the offense better with accuracy on the short and intermediate throws.  While Weeden still has the cannon, he has failed to show the touch that is needed to complete the passes in the red zone.

With the toughest stretch of games we will see all season ahead, I hope Weeden can improve quick.

Jim Brown Was Honored By the Browns Last Night, Couldn't Get the Same Love From the UFC

I was extremely excited that the Browns could pull out a win on Thursday Night Football last night.  While the Brian Hoyer injury weighs heavily on the excitement, it was great to see a win on Jim Brown night.  Brown was credited afterwards by Head Coach Rob Chudzinski for his mentorship by being awarded a game ball.

However one of the fastest growing sports organizations in the world can also trace the roots of their success to Jim Brown.  Did you remember that Jim Brown was an original member of the UFC announce team?  Yes well before the days of Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan, it was Brown who provided the insight on all of the Brazillian Jiu Jitsu and Kickboxing techniques being used.  I obviously use the words insight rather loosely, because Brown wasn't exactly brimming with knowledge on the fledgling sport, but I will admit I would have never watched it without him.